Parenting, Conscience conflicts - My Experiences My Perception (Self Address)

Create a favorable environment for people to thrive most importantly your kids. Let them express anything, DON'T BOMBARD YOUR OPINIONS ON KIDS, YOUR LIFE IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT HE LEADS. If you yourself keeps on bombarding your views and judgement without even letting him put his view, how will they develop individuality?  Please don't bombard and jump to a conclusion that just because you are vexed and disappointed, doesn’t mean Kids will get disappointed with same field. Yes, I know with growing space between people, you cling on to children for solace unconsciously. Too much love and overprotectiveness and possessiveness will not work these days. There are instances where a new born calf died due to excessive licking by mother cows. Also, Frogs eat tadpoles when they are hungry. You ate me to quench your ego. I am not a stress ball to hard press on everything on me.

Children will get timid and intimidated and reliant on you forever. Just answer this, if you let them thrive and facilitate them without suppressing their interests and If their interests lie well within STEM and Medical (as you want them to be in highest pedestal of economic hierarchy, not denying it) designations, don't limit them please. Don't jump to conclusion that it might not work. You never know what life has in store for him. If you keep pulling him to fulfill your attachment needs, he will not grow developing the unconscious feeling of security. That is not security to be frank in today's world. You guys (parents) quarrel among yourself and mother lets her frustration out on me for everything just because you crush her with your views, i know she may be wrong, but that repercussion effect is felt by us kids too, even harder at adolescent age just as the way bio-magnification of toxicity occurs. I was the soft target for every outburst. This is how inferiority complex develops. Wish I had developed this rebelistic attitude when I'm 15. Everything in the world is inter related. Every action is inter related. Don't let us react to everything but act on everything. You are what you think.

         Letting girls thrive on their own with no strings attached and giving them independence and letting them free whereas binding a male kid with your prejudices and self-baked baseless conclusions is not what I want. As they don't have to look after you in old age, so I have cling on and sacrifice my life for parents, wife, kids etc. HELL NOOOOOOOOO. Enough is enough.  I have had enough. Triple enough. My interest (to take medicine stream) was always in my mind even back then, Even my school marks reflected the same. I scored 20 marks less than the 1st ranker in Mathematics alone, but he leads me in overall total by just 6 marks with me leading in all other subjects. I go to extra tuition only to learn mathematics. I tried to cheat in final exam only in mathematics. I failed in Bachelors only in Mathematics. Ground was clear then to be frank. You failed to identify, I crumbled under your opinion and conclusion to not take it, just because you cannot do with your ideology. In Today's world a stable job is that matters not job satisfaction. As the economy moves towards capitalism, then people must also change accordingly. I was under Dilemma and unconscious impression to follow ideals in almost every case. Even be it interacting with people. Always judging myself what others think of me and If my judgement comes out negative, I stop enacting it in the first place. Many of the thoughts that spurred never went into action.  I crumbled under your blackmail that my decision will lessen your lifespan owing to professional rivalry with sibling. But the logic you have missed is Professional rivalry obliviously exists whatever might be the field. I failed to muster courage but I failed to express swaying by your opinion and what the mob follows, which eventually led me to write this article you can say. I Crumbled under people’s opinion including you without even giving a second thought. Whatever plan I say, you will be the first to give out negative vibes about it. And unconsciously discourage me without further doing it.

Let me breathe. Let me put in my opinions without judgement. Let me lose all inhibitions and put in my view. Your insecurities, your high restrictiveness & resisting criticism, your superior airs over everyone (Yes essential to survive but not on your child), Your overthinking, Your Over involvement is what that ruined me. Girls get away with marital support and opting their career choice as they wish.  of course, Men have no choice but to marry there in fear of loneliness. Men must learn to do house hold chores. Will you let your girl child nurture and give mental support to a struggling non- settled guy? NO right.

Major reason why today marriages are breaking apart and you complain that grandparents are getting extinct these days, Why? Because you let your girl child get away with provider job, she acts as per her biological imperative, you support her without thinking of any consequence. you support her even if she doesn't develop individuality, you support and nurture her with high resources even if she may not achieve and relies on other person for her emotional stability and logistic needs. 

Nuclear families arise because of this only reason. Only advantage is population control to an extent. you are falling into pitfalls just because of your limited exposure. YES LIMITED, NON- EXPOSURE to society. Harming me more. Only way you can contain & pull me out is Marry me to a very good understanding achieving girl (she has to agree, completely her decision, no forcing her though) no matter what my position is  and have your superiority but don't rub in your view to me.And I don’t want to get into the psychology of objectification that is being ruthlessly done in the name of arranged marriages. Most, Women objectify themselves, objectify men on basis of salary, and similarly men do too. Women generally like Alpha males they don’t like to nurture a guy. I’m not an Alpha male. I will do all house hold chores and willing to pay dowry to the bride to appease myself, will any girl or even 30 plus yr old woman agree? No right. I’ll stop this topic here. I must accept and move on relating to things which I can’t change and not in my control and move on without further deliberation as soon as possible.  Only my health and the effort that I put in are at my disposal. Work on and think on and act on things that are at one’s disposal.

Yes, I’m working on it right now.

Please converse with me don't lecture. Please let me put in my version. Don't bash down my view as a rut. Don't put me in dilemma, Yes, I'm dilemma state with no clear mind, just the way as you are. Let me out of your clutches. Let me out of your paradoxical care. Don't let me act as per your conclusion, you have LIMITED EXPOSURE I repeat N times.  I still remember you putting me down in N number of cases, that I didn't get at age of 21-22 as everyone would get, The insult I faced during the only marriage happened at home, The disregard and ignorance I faced in a hotel in your Medical college town was intolerable when you made me feel as a loser 

 Then let me free. I know this isn’t the right age to talk about all this, but everything doesn’t have to be scheduled in life. Better late than never.  Maybe you have let me free, but you could say these smartphones made life hell in one way, bliss in another. Did your parents call on you on every dawn and dusk when you are growing up and pour out their sorrows and gives you class like every day?  One must practice detached attachment. Catch that unconscious bug and kill it. I know everything must have plan B today, then Plan C that is parents.

 Don't think that you are only perfect person in this world, no you aren't. The way you robbed your child life off is not perfect. Not at all. A few of illiterate rickshaw puller (not undermining any job, just to say just because you are superior in brains, doesn't mean you are superior at everything in life) would do better than you at parenting, Yes, he may not provide her with all amenities but he lets you be as you want to be, with no prejudices and a pure heart. 

You know why girls are achieving more and men are getting into smoke, alcohol and drugs and depression? Because you don't get too much bogged down even if she doesn't achieve too much, whereas with men if he doesn't achieve end of story. because you don't tone down your expectations on men, on top of it put responsibility of your old age care, nurturing another female and let the biological imperative stay as it is. If men deviate from career, you brand him as escapist and must stay alone, if woman deviates she can well marry someone achieving with your clout and money. 

These are not your days where girls are limited to homes or limited to just basic degree in education. I agree that women should and must work and be independent has every right. Not denying it at all. Yes, there are costs and fuel to burn everywhere. It could be set right partially by Marrying equally (age, career) please. Of course, it is a personal choice. No point in limiting anyone of their choice or No point bombarding marriage on to anyone, people can be single forever. It's individual choice. If marriage is mainly for companionship and love, do it accordingly, don’t change priorities after judging character again. If a girl were in my place, you could have easily married her and give her the same life irrespective of her education. But me I am doomed for now. My actions will take me out of it. I am working on it. I am 1000% sure that I will not marry forever. I will be rejected outright by every woman for sure.Mark my words. I consider the fact to stay as bachelor is a bliss. Men marry mostly because of lust, loneliness and LAZINESS and Pseudo superiority & toxic masculinity bestowed upon them by rural mob & even urban crap societies.

Just answer this, would you let your girl (even if she is high achieving) marry a guy like me at this stage of life? No right, then let me live. Just answer this, are you (my dad) with the same mindset as me when you were my age? No right, then let me live. I know you were riding and basking with high confidence and high maturity when you were my age. I am not even with half of what you had back then. My English and writing skills may be better, but to what use is that today? In Today's survival mode my mindset has to improve towards meticulous work, positivity by leaps and bounds. Moral and ethics could be followed later if possible. Managerial and negotiating and communication skills and learning job skills is what that matters most today.

Everything in the world doesn’t Smoothen up your view on people. No one is perfect in this world. Even Lord RAMA (most ideal man on planet Earth as scriptures say) has stains in his life. MEN ARE NOT BORN WITH SUPER POWERS and MEN AREN'T BORN WITH HIGH MENTAL STRENGTH. It is the upbringing that shapes up anyone's core ethos. I became weak and dependent even for my emotions. I left my studious work ethic that was in me. Don't cling on and dump your moral negativity on me. I became too much negative because of you unconsciously. I lost friends, not lost never made any friends, I was always under the impression that you share only your personal issues with friends not professional help, No use sitting alone, There's hardly anyone to help me, reach out, they may deny once or twice. But if you keep insisting and pushing the envelope, It’ll open up. I never developed a way to interact with people because of inhibition.Don't expect someone to come to your rescue all the time. Men grow where they are set free to voice out their opinion without bashing and giving negative reinforcements in whatever they do, LET HIM COMPLETE and CONCLUDE HIS VERSION of STORY, don’t interrupt midway without letting him completely put in his view and give conclusions and options based on that half-communicated version and just put in your half-baked views. LET HIM LEAAAAAAAAAD HIS LIFE. PLEASEEEEEE. I BEG YOU.  I CONCLUDE WITH THIS LET EVERYONE THRIVE, DONT GIVE NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENTS.  I imbibed it all unconsciously, I'm unlearning it all removing prejudices, started creating a good environment, giving constructing criticism, not bashing anyone. Have you seen the movie “Taare Zameen Par” ? Look at how the change in environment and the right person to guide could well trigger a drastic change in anyone. Everyone is unique. All you have to do facilitate and talk them through and make them realise their worth. Don't bring petty, trivial issues to me. You are experienced, you can deal with them. Of course, I'll develop my own way to deal with trivial shit. Erase your prejudices.  Have your opinions with you. If positive give them out. men (like me) always have to face the worst and endure the worst (worst is relative again, don’t compare. Many doesn’t even get proper food to eat everyday) to come out with flying colors. Also, I am getting over my prejudices, fanaticism, likings over languages, region any dividing factor overall. To me language is to just express out what you need, what is there in your mind succinctly, use any language end of the day what matters is not restricting your mind and getting and working on what you truly need. Expressing yourself vividly is important not language. One doesn’t require god if he internalizes all motivation, expresses everything and himself to the point, he oozes out positive vibes and be ego free. If possible be inclusive in development. This is in short, Self actualization. Also, don’t expect someone to revert the help you do and don’t overthink over it.

Now is the time I come out flying, now is the time I voice out my opinion. Alas, Maturity comes with experiences and upbringing and when you remove inhibitions and developing good work ethic sans overthinking. Maturity doesn't come with age. Many 18-year-old humans are more mature than me. Maturity doesn't come with preaching and crying and cribbing (like I am doing now). One should be responsible for his actions and grateful. It will be far more liberating. Everyone is fighting their own struggle within, let that valor thrive and take fore seat. I am not a good initiator (majorly because of fear of failure), I must change this.  People around me are by my career choice and work, not how you put me there, for girls you can put them in high pedestal (there are ifs and buts there too, I am just talking about physical resources and associated judgement)  even today with your clout and money, not possible for men unless you are a one of Fortune 500 Companies CEO.

They say we start everything with brute force and perform things initially gleefully and later decrease the quality of work and eventually cannot sustain for long until the end point is met, What matters is regularity and maintaining the constant zeal to learn. At school, the exams made me constantly challenge myself every month. I had that strong will until then. Dilemma turned me into a big time forbidder. It makes you cling on to neutral side where you get less inflicted. It makes you resist the change. It made me be in my own version of comfort zone. It unconsciously made me avoid take risks. “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded non rectified thoughts”. “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks. He becomes”. 

Please talk and let people talk. You can't do Telepathy and conclude what others feel. You don't get food without sowing a seed. Now YES, overthinking doesn't help and putting out this futile article doesn't help me, but letting out my feelings. Yes, I am hyper bloated with what many say as nonsensical stuff, I'm working on it, removing all of them one by one. Sometimes I wish I had a "Shift+Delete" button to life to immediately move on. (DO NOT CLING ON TO PAST, learn from it) .No point cribbing, let it (change) be a gradual process. I will and I am working on it. I will be better person trust me. Even a seed doesn't grow in a day and bear fruits. I kinda extenuated my life, I started my life pulling it away from your treacherous venomous school of thought. I will need to pull away from your weak, cribbing, sorrowful, superior mindset. Don't cling on to children after 18, Yes you may feel possessive but that hurts them more. You may feel that he lives in front of your eyes, in reality, he never developed his individuality. or to put it, you never let him develop dumping up all your prejudices. Everything will not be there in books, Everything is not taught in coaching classes. Communication skills, soft skills, negotiation skills, Managerial skills develop when you let them free without asking every detail of what they did. Stop Moral policing. Yes, he will do mistakes, Make him learn from it. Explain softly with example. There are plenty of ways to explain lucidly if you give a thought. Don't just MANS-PLAIN (has to do with years of moral conditioning & DUMP SUPERIOR AIR over any one) on your child. He will have no where to go but to crumble & destruct himself. Just answer this, Did every satellite that NASA/ISRO has sent gone into the designated orbit? No right. So should the Government suspend staff and stop funding for the mistake that has happened? No right. Don't freak out and reprimand for mistakes. The case with me like a healthy growing crop being fed with detrimental manure.

To live is to even intrude to meet your needs without inhibition. To live is to stride with happy countenance all the time. To live is to ooze out positive vibes. To live is to turn virtual thoughts into actions thereby shaping up reality. To live is to strengthen your intuition. To live is burn out negativity. To live is to speak up for yourself. To live is to have the motivating survival spirit all the time. To live to is to better up our perception. To live is to not let emotions take control of you. To live is to be ruthless in what you want. To live is to act not to speak. To live is to be at peace with yourself. To live is to learn from mistakes. To live is to unlearn futility.

To live is to not bash yourself. To live is to not suppress yourself with psychosomatic struggles.

I know many will rub me off asking me to mind important matters than this. Past is past. I can't bring it back. Be in the present 100%.  Parents have to kids best friends, as we age, parents are the only persons we fall back to if we do anything wrong. Do it at early age. At 18 let your kid be free and be a bestie than a bossing parent. Don't boss around please. Free unhindered Communication channel will be established if you talk well. If I be a parent, I know everything is not in my hands, no one could be perfect parent for their child, Just better up your yesterday's version. Improve. There is no perfection. There are friends who care if you would really explore. I HATE THE WORDS HARD-WORK AND PERFECTION. They carry a whole lot of negative vibes and embedded venom of fear of failure. They don't exist in reality. Concentration exists, yes tune it. Dedication exists, yes tune it. Determination exists, yes tune it. Meticulousness & being good enough in work exists, yes tune it. Time is the only resource that is at our disposal. 

I am grateful for the monetary support and for raising me as a teetotaler since birth which I am even now. I am grateful for the idealistic core self ethos. I am grateful for doing all my chores myself (clean, cook, buying groceries on my own) without inhibition. I have imbibed it in me. I developed good health routine. I killed my food cravings. I can now instinctively select ingredients ­­­and cook good healthy food. It requires control, Yes, I have it. Yes, I have it Yes, I have it. Now is the time to control my mind and put it back on track. I am fit, I shed off 19 kg in a year. All this requires a strong will and YES, I have it. Unconsciously I have put more stress on importance and implementation of job satisfaction, morals, interest in my life rather than concentrating on physiological needs that are to be met by my own. I took to procrastination as if some magic unveils in my life, I realized I don't have a magic wand. Men do not have magic wand in their hands. Everyone must work to meet their needs. Men are born with higher physical strength, that doesn't necessarily translate to mental strength.

You might conclude that I'm frustrated and just telling reasons won't suffice. It is actions that should speak. It is suffocating, hence I put out all this. Yes, you said plan your life, but I unconsciously took along the qualities I mentioned above

 (Overthinking, Concentrating on result rather than work, Fear of failure, Procrastination, Pseudo superiority, Comparison, Negativity, Prejudices, Utility of Electronics, Inhibition, Miserliness, Cribbing). I have indoctrinated myself with all of these. I developed Inferiority complex too unconsciously. I let people sit over me and rule me. Some even might sense Narcissism and pompousness in me. I don't mind. Let me vent out. Why should I have that pseudo superiority?  No one is superior. Neither am I. Treat everyone politely, Greet everyone with a smile. Fake it till you make it. Even then learn and learn forever. There is so much one could achieve if he/she realizes her ability.

Reality is a conglomeration of chance, choice, effort, awareness. Don’t let emotions rule you. Grab hold of every thought, Put into action. Everything doesn’t come in a jiffy.  I am turning out to be irony myself. I crib and then again, I know what to do to counter it. ACT NOW. NOW is the time. I became too much image conscious (as if I am a big box-office hero) judging myself for every petty action that I do which is a BIG NO NO these days. Being a self-critic is good, learning from mistakes is good, but enacting what you have learnt and putting it in your instincts is what that matters at the end of the day. As I’m tuned to negativity in the past, Negative reinforcements would naturally come out of my mind. I stopped acting altogether. I am out of this negative rut. YES, I AM out of this negative rut. I can feel the positive vibes. It is me who limited myself because of all it don't maintain eye contact while conversing because of this. People complained about it and I felt bad instead of learning  from it and amending it. Yes, Electronics are necessary but not more than freedom and non-prejudiced and non-judging environment.  Have all those qualities with others not with your kids. And NOW is the time to shed off all those. In today's world, to get into the economy first you aggravate your needs, that will push you to secure a place for yourself.  Being Miserly will give misery these days. Purchasing something that you want is not a test of intelligence. Identify it ASAP and address it. Without getting into economy, don't expect that economy to push you. I agree lapses are there with every human, problems are there with every human. No one is perfect.
Negative affirmations buds up every day unconsciously and I developed severe afflictions subduing myself as time rolled by. 

I shiver whenever there is a situation I have to perform, I shiver whenever i couldn't recollect a thought, I shiver because of fear of failure.I shiver in any tough conversations, I shiver on stage, I shiver to put my view assuming everyone around would debase my point. (which they might, they might not, but that's not the point, Thing is I have to put in my view no matter what). This bug of worrying about backlash/debasement : you've unconsciously sowed and nurtured in me, now I'm facing the wrath of it. you've debased me in almost every view pompously exhibiting your preconceived view. Do it with others not kids. 

Only thing is to fight the war (do work meticulously) without overthinking. A work ethic developed needs to be sustained for life. Also, if you have money take chances with it than with your time. Be untethered with past. I know I am living in the past in almost 99% of this article. I am in the process of rectifying all that. This will be my last cribbing outing. I will never repeat it. It’s the future that is in your hands, to have it in your hands It is me who must act meticulously in present with 100 % concentration and consciousness. The way I have grown is I always wanted to be perfect and best in everything I do and if I realize that I can’t, I stopped doing it in first place. This has been my major lapse. One of the factors that comes out of inferiority complex too. Also, When I am surrounded with people of higher intelligence, i feel very inferior. But now I realized that I like the company of knowledgeable, prejudice-less people. To be in their company, you have to put in time to efficient and productive utility.  (of course achieving ones ACT on what they want. Take example of Rohit Sharma & Virat Kohli, Though Rohit is revered to be talented, it is Virat who took the baton with his sheer determination to maximize impact out of every ball that he faces. Think and better your instincts Ball by ball when playing the match. Dedication and concentration and determination beats talent any day. Rest overthinking can be done later). Life is fine tuning your instincts to the maximum. No two minds in it. Always put in your best in everything you do, there is always room to improve. I underline that survival is the most precious than interest today. If passion meets profession, if you love what you do, there is no hard work in it. If your medium of survival matches your core passion and interest, then there is nothing like it. It itself drives you to meet the ends. Never ever compare yourself to anyone. Take lead in everything you do, one grows when he/she takes up responsibility of oneself or others. Just because someone got cancer, doesn’t mean you start worrying about everything right now. Take one day at a time. Don’t rush your thoughts. No one has got time to care and nurture you and help drive you towards positivity unless you are married to someone who is willing and loves to nurture you. It is you who must stay with yourself forever. Negativity wreaks havoc out of anyone. First step is to stop craving for attention and appreciation. Kill negativity.

I realized any change will be permanent if it comes out of our inner core and burning instinct not by someone giving keys all the time.  Don't crave for any social appreciation. Just do your work meticulously. There are hints and subtle hints from friends about career and general well-being about where I am, most of them want you to thrive. And if others perceive that burning instinct to succeed in you, no matter what they do, they will help you even when things conspire against you. Surround yourself with people that you want to be. Environment around is so powerful to make or break you. Interacting with knowledgeable people in topics that matter the most to you is far more enlightening and enriching and nourishing than Reading and getting the same knowledge over internet. Cut out on social media. Maintain eye contact. INTERACT. You may not like them as a person, but that is not what is required, they may not like you as a person too. That's not the point. What matters is getting the information that you want.  I happened to read Bhagavad-Gita, it has all the motivation most modern books boasts of.  Idolizing Krishna after reading is not what I believe from it. What is important is to imbibe what is in it, modifying it to current era and put into your instincts and practice.

My views might be half baked to many or raw to many and may not make sense to many. But all I did was venting out my thoughts and perception. I know many confirm to the survival instinct, do work, learn what is needed to do work , I agree that is what is required. I know people will ignore all this out of context irrelevant topics. They are free to do so. Live and let live. Don't undermine your strengths. Experience is what that shapes you and experiences are the best teachers. Work on your weaknesses. Let it be a gradual process. Results won't be instant as they say there is no shortcut to success. Yes, there is no shortcut, just meticulous work, result is not in you hands, rub it and get on with life. Have fun a day a week at-least. Be productive to the core all the time.

Let your work be your addiction. I have wiped off my deviations, aversions and addictions recently with full flush namely movies, politics, social media and cricket. I am on a positive track. To be a doctor, you mostly have to rely on memory and read more to get degree eventually it will help if you are writing Civil services exams too. Also, you don't need too much interpersonal skills with your peers and professors if you're a doctor. If you know 1000 people, every one will barge in for free treatment, But where as if you know 1000 people in engineering, You can know the work flow and ask for references and relevant help.To be an engineer, You can easily pass out going through random slides and practicing it once before exams, You mostly have to develop your interpersonal skills in Engineering to thrive, Doctor doesn't require too much of interpersonal skills, basic human psychology is enough.  Also there is not enough authentic practical exposure in Engineering (to get it you have to network yourself) as you get in medicine while doing internship/housie.  There is no stability, you have to constantly update yourself with latest developments and technologies to be on track with economy. And for a stability seeking mind, Engineering is not a viable option for me. Take the case of Nokia, there were days when people thought securing an engineering job in Nokia is revered high, Now where is Nokia? I know experience counts, and they could switch companies. Doctors have to update infrastructure and maintain facilities I agree; MRI and laparoscopy were major two things that came in all of your 30 yrs. of experience. Life is a learning process, Yes, I agree, Engineering challenges your survival skills, Yes, I agree. But we could have more interests pacified in the same time like you did with electronics while still practicing medicine.  Wherever my career goes, I'll rectify my regrets (whatever may be the reasons for it) by doing masters in psychology someday. I never thought I would get into depression. I never thought I would do yoga, fitness and meditation and kill my food cravings. I never ever thought that I would read these many books as I am doing today. I took to philosophy which many do at later stages of life. But I have done them all.  After all this I know everyone will say. Loop line can wait, Main track is the one that is to be repaired. I agree. I am working on it right now. I am mustering grit and resolve. Rest assured that Main track will be on track with full flow. 

I CONCLUDE WITH THIS, MEN ARE NOT BORN WITH SUPER POWERS & are not given higher opportunity to succeed at least from the society that I came from. With age, words should not speak, actions must speak, and with age One should not be left with reasons and regrets. I am on positive stride now I believe and I perceive it. I will alleviate and prosper it (positive vibes). and I'll say YES, I WILL. YES, I Will, YES, I AM WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW THIS MOMENT.  As I read in "The Secret" book, if you are positive, you attract positivity.  It has so much strength. Suicide is not the option for a mind like me, be it any one. Seek for help. BE STRONG. Internalize all the motivation. Don't fear insult, rebukes. Let insults make you stronger. Create a positive unprejudiced environment that pulls you to happiness and feeds your needs. No one is superior to any one. Unfortunately, I never put out my words all these days in fear of rebuke, in fear of you overthinking. But It is me who is losing my life. Now I mustered the courage and will sustain it forever. It is inevitable that I talk. Please let me BREATHE.  I will not get into superfluous details from now. Just work that’s it.

I am working on what is needed to be done. And with age, temporary goals have to be met, long term goals have to be trashed, as I grow, I have to be disconnected with past.  I will be better person trust me.  Yes, I will be. I am working on it RIGHT NOW. From now on, No will/shall. I am in the present tense of things. Trust me. Pardon me and provide Amnesty if I offended you and Don't overthink on me. Take care of your Health.

P.S: 'you' in some contexts is me and in some contexts, I'm addressing this open article to my parents and myself.